Mar 192013

Thank You


For the last two weeks my daughter has been sick.  A high fever, double ear infection, mucus in her lungs and fever blisters in her mouth. And, of course, I am sick too. If it is actually possible not to get whichever illness your child has, I haven’t found a way.  I guess I could stop kissing and snuggling her when she needs it most.  I guess I could refuse to hold her in my arms while she whimpers in pain and coughs in my face.  But to me, that’s not possible.  Maybe I could get a gas mask. But that is a slippery slope, and suddenly you are wearing a doctor’s mask and gloves in the airport, opening doors with your elbow while you chug Airborne from a camelpak.

Needless to say, it has been a rough couple of weeks.  A solid night’s sleep has eluded me for longer than I care to think about.  Many a night has been spent on the floor next to my daughter’s bed, or in the chair in her room, or with her snoring and kicking me all night in my bed.  But the other night, as a lay next to my twitching daughter, rubbing her tiny back in circles, I was reminded of the many nights when I was little and sick and my mom laid with me in my bed, rubbing my back. I remembered how, in those moments, it was the only thing that seemed to make me feel better.  I remembered the way that even when I was in college, when I got sick I wished my mom was there to rub my back and make me feel better.  Somehow a smelly frat guy drunkenly rubbing my back didn’t have quite the same effect.

I started thinking about all the sacrifices that parents make for their children, and all the sacrifices my parents made for me.  Rubbing backs until your hand feels like it will fall off, wiping noses with your shirt (gross but true), risking illness to make your child feel better for even an instant, wiping butts for what must feel like an eternity, driving mini-vans even though you swore you never would… the list goes on and on.  And I have to say that for all the sacrifices that parents make, parenthood is a thankless job.  No one gives you a medal, or even notices the things you do. Certainly not your children.

However, it may be a thankless job, but it certainly is one that pays you back tenfold.  You may not get a “thank you” but you do get a smiling, happy child. You may not get a trophy, but you get to see your babies grow up to be the amazing people you knew they could be.  You may not get any kind of acknowledgement –  in fact, you may even get tears and screams and tantrums in exchange for the all the sacrifices you make – but you also get the love that fills your heart so full that there is not enough room for the screams and tears to stay very long.

And while no thanks is expected, a little thank you here and there might be nice… especially when it is 3 am and you are sleeping on your daughter’s cold, hard, floor. Again.  So parents, here you go:

To all the parents out there:  THANK YOU.

Thank you for doing all that you do to keep your children happy, healthy and safe.  I see you at the grocery store, struggling with your screaming child and keeping your cool anyway. I see you at the park, playing with your children instead of tapping away at your phone. I see you reading books instead of letting them zone out in front of the TV at night.  I see you fighting to get vegetables in their bellies instead of Cheetos, even though it would be so much easier to just give them what they want.  I see you at work, looking like a zombie because you were up all night with a sick child. I see you all. I appreciate you.  Thank You.

And now the most important Thank You I could say, one that I should have said long ago, but never knew how…

To My Mom and Dad,

Thank you for comforting me when I was sick and for rescuing me from imaginary monsters at 3 am. For listening to all my stories, laughing at all my jokes (mostly about poop and pee), and cheering me on at all my sports games.  Thank you for giving up your social life so that you could shuttle me around to every sport, activity and party my little heart desired.  Thank you for snooping through my stuff and getting into my business, even when I screamed and said I hated you.  Thank you for protecting me from myself. Thank you for telling me every day that you loved me.  And for letting me follow my heart and move to California, even though it must have been so hard to let me go.  Thank you for hoping that I didn’t have to come back, while kind of hoping that I did.  Thank you for a million more things that are far too numerous to type.  And most of all, thank you for never telling me about all these amazing things you did for me, but instead letting me figure it out on my own.  I love you.

And to everyone who has read this far… thank YOU.

Now, where’s my medal??
photo credit: Avard Woolaver via photopin cc

Nov 262012

Soul Garden

“Let us be grateful to people to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”

~Marcel Proust

…Because Thanks Giving should not be just once a year.

photo credit: Alex-Murphy via photopin cc

Nov 212012

I am thankful for those who drink as much as I.

I love me some Thanksgiving. What’s not to love?  Family and friends all gathered together. Delicious food and the ability to eat as much of it as you want without feeling guilty because everyone knows that calories don’t count on holidays. Same thing goes for drinking. Everyone knows that alcoholism doesn’t count on holidays. Plus, how the hell can you cook without wine? Or survive an entire day with aforementioned family without wine (Except for mine, of course. Happy Turkey Day Mom!  Thanks for giving me life!)

Unlike some other holidays lurking around this time of year, Thanksgiving is pretty stress-free (unless, of course, you are dumb generous enough to host.) There’s no gifts to be painstakingly purchased. No gifts to be returned, only to panic when the giver of said gift comes to visit and wonders where are those lovely ceramic figurines with the creepy, giant eyes that follow you everywhere, even your nightmares. There is no planning of a night out awesome enough to close out a great year and make all your Facebook friends jealous. Nope, none of those annoying holiday stresses. Thanksgiving is all about eating and drinking with friends and family and giving thanks for it all. Oh yeah, and I think it is also about Pilgrims, Native Americans and a giant Pumpkin who terrorizes children.  But don’t quote me on that.

However, as much as I love Thanksgiving and think it is important to give thanks, there is one thing about Thanksgiving that I dread:  the moment when all the food sits before you on the table, and instead of allowing you to dig in, the well-intentioned hostess asks everyone to go around the table and say what they are thankful for. Seriously?!  That is the right moment for that?  How about starting the giving of Thanks during the five hours when everyone is eating dip and dry carrots and waiting for the damn turkey to be done?  And why is it so hard to come up with something that I am thankful for at that moment? Perhaps it is because I am dizzy with hunger due to the fact that I starved myself all day to make up for the sick amount of calories I plan to consume. Or perhaps it is because I am drunk as I started drinking at 6 am without eating anything besides the cold, wet stuffing I snuck and ate with my fingers out of sheer desperation. Or perhaps it is simply the pressure of putting a whole year of thankfulness into a few words.  Whatever the reason, when called upon, I usually break out in a cold sweat and blurt out something like: “Iamgratefulformyfamilyandfriendsbecauseilovethemsomuchohyeahandmyhealthandmyfamilyandmyfriendsdidialreadysaythat.”

So, this year I am going to do things differently.  Firstly, I am going to make more of an effort to give thanks all year round.  Secondly, in order to bypass the paralyzing moment of Thanksgiving pressure, I am going to take the time to lay out some things that I am thankful for right here and now.


Everyone who has read this far in the post.  For those of you who stopped reading after the first paragraph or who totally ignored this post: I hope you choke on a turkey bone or gain ten pounds, whichever is worse.  Just kidding.  But to those who read my blog:  THANK YOU!!

My amazing, smart, hilarious, charming daughter.  Sometimes I can’t believe how lucky I am.

My awesome family. I know you think your family is awesome, but my family kicks your family’s ass in my book.  Sorry.

My wonderful friends who support me, challenge me and love me no matter what.

A husband who makes me feel smart and funny, and who still likes to grab my ass.

Having an ass that someone still thinks is worth grabbing.

Girls trips.

Nap times.

Date nights.

Family days.

Push-up bras and Spanx:  Some people call it cheating. I call it branding.

Good red wine.

Cupcakes:  The perfect cake to frosting ratio.

My daughter’s amazing, obnoxious, loud, boisterous laugh.


Wedge heels: Almost comfortable.

Movie theaters that let you pour your own butter on your popcorn.  Yes!

Skinny lattes.

Stretchy jeans:  I refuse to call them jeggings.


The health of me, my family and my friends.

Baby Tylenol:  Helped my daughter through a lot of crazy fevers this year.

Girls days with just my daughter and I, when I have no work, no chores and nothing to do but be with her.

Pumpkin spice…anything.

And the one thing that I am most thankful for…

Laughter:  Curer of everything that I am NOT thankful for.

So there you have it, My 2012 List of Thankfulness!  Hostesses take note:  this hereby exempts me from the torture of participating in this tradition this year, and possibly for all subsequent years.  So back off and let me eat overcooked turkey, already!  But just because I will not be participating myself, doesn’t mean that I won’t be watching this unfold. As much as I hate doing it myself, I love watching other people sweat at that inevitable moment when the person who goes before them takes the exact thing that they were going to say.  I love that moment!  In fact, you might even say that I am thankful for it.

Sep 192012

Not to brag… ok, who am I kidding, this is totally bragging… but I have been awarded FOUR different blogging awards.  However, due to circumstances beyond my control… like illnesses, vacations, and – let’s just face it – my own laziness, I have taken a long time to formally recognize most of these.  But make no mistake, it is not because I am not thrilled to have gotten them.  I am honored to have received all of them, not just because it is amazing to me that anyone reads my simple little no-frills blog (although I am working on some frills for you all…more on that to come) but because the nominations came from bloggers who I truly respect.

Awards aside, it is always wonderful to hear from friends, strangers, followers and even some unexpected people how much you enjoy my blog or how a certain post really resonated with you. I  truly relish all of the comments, likes, shares, retweets, and the recounting of your own personal stories and experiences.  At the end of the day, that’s what writing this blog is all about for me:  the connections and the community. Parenting can be an isolating experience sometimes, and this blog is my way of reaching out to all of you – to let you know that you are not alone and to remind myself that I am not alone either.

So keep it coming! If you like or dislike, agree or disagree with something I am writing about, then please tell me. If you know someone who you think might appreciate this blog, then please share it with them.  If I write something that particularly speaks to you, please share it with your own audience.

In the spirit of this amazing blogging community and also partially due to my aforementioned laziness, I have decided to formally recognize the blogging awards I have received by creating an Award of my own.  I am not sure if this is allowed, but this is my blog, hence my world and I make the rules… so by the power vested in me, I now pronounce the importance of a very important award, for better or for worse, and uh for.. ever. I now present:

The Saggy Award for General Awesomeness!

I don’t know who these women are but they are totally Generally Awesome!!

The Saggy Award for General Awesomeness would like to recognize the General Awesomeness of the following blogs:

Mommy On The Go In Holy Toledo Thank you for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award

Up With The Chickens Thank you for the Kreative Blogger Award!

Unfinishedbizness Thank you for the Sunshine Blogger Award!

Structure In An Unstructured Life  Thank you for the Reader Appreciation Award!

Totally check out their Generally Awesome Blogs.  Totally.

These blogs are also Generally Awesome in totally different ways:

Edward Hotspur

Plan B-each

Mommy Man:  Adventures of a Gay Superdad

I Simply Am 

One Thousand Single Days

Talkin’ Shit

The rules for this award are simple.

1)  Accept the fact that you are pretty much the bee’s knees aka Totally Fucking Awesome.

2)  Celebrate your Awesomeness in any manner you deem fit (I personally recommend a bottle of Cabernet and a tub of vanilla frosting but to each her own)

3)  If you are so inclined, share this General Awesomeness with your readers and inform them of some other blogs you that find Awesome.  That’s it.

Congrats to all the Awesome people and thank you everyone for reading.


Her Saggyness (Courtney)

Aug 072012

Today is my birthday.  The reason that I am telling you this is not to make you feel guilty for not remembering (unless YOU are reading this.  You know who you are.) nor is it to fish for the requisite “Happy Birthday” comments that such a post could inspire.  No, my reason is just the opposite.  Full Disclosure:  I am going to get a little bit cheesy and perhaps a tad cliché for a moment… so if you don’t feel like dealing with that, then stop reading right now.  But it’s my birthday and I will let a slow tear run down my face for a moment if I want to.

Where was I?  Oh, yes.  Slow tear… Today is my birthday, and instead of asking for a lot of things (except from my husband of course) instead I am going to give thanks for this life that I lead every day that is truly a gift.  I have a wonderful husband who accepts my faults and sees more good in me than I do in myself; who is an even better father than he is a husband if that is possible; and who buys me great gifts for my birthday.  I have a fantastic family, who are all my biggest fans and I theirs.  I have amazing friends who inspire me every day to be a better friend and person.  I have a job that I enjoy and that gives me the freedom to spend a lot of time with my daughter.  And a daughter… oh, my daughter.  She is the greatest gift of all. And for all the complaining that I do about how tough motherhood is right here on this very blog (because God knows it’s tough sometimes,) there’s not enough time nor words nor people who would care to read all that I could say about how much my daughter has changed my life in the greatest ways possible.   Every day I look at her and wonder how I could have gotten so lucky as to have her in my life.  Thank you.

So, there you have it.  Maybe it is the prosecco talking, but it is my birthday and I already have everything I could possibly want…. unless you have a pair of Louboutin nude peep toes in size 9 1/2.  What can I say, I’m a sucker for those red soles.