Mar 082012
 

Now I know this is getting a little personal, but I have to share this fantasy I have been having a lot lately.  Man, is it steamy (sorry dad!)

Ok, so here it is… I check into a fancy hotel under a fake name.  I go up to the hotel room, which is complete with a big, beautiful, and very sexy bed.  I take off all my clothes and sink into a lavender scented bubble bath.  Suddenly, there is a knock at the door!  I pull on the hotel’s fluffy, white bathrobe and answer the door to find a very cute bellhop… do hotels still have those or does my fantasy take place in 1936?  Anyway, the very cute bellhop comes inside my hotel room and says, “Hello Ms. Aniston.  I have your order.”  Then he brings in a rolling cart with a big slice of chocolate cake and a wonderful bottle of red wine.  I say in a husky voice, “Thanks.  I’ve got your tip right here….”  Then I give him $2 (hey, it was only cake and wine) and he leaves, and I spend the entire night by myself in the big, sexy bed in my fluffy, white bathrobe, watching crappy chick flicks and eating the entire slice of cake and drinking the entire bottle of wine, and no one is crying or snoring or farting or waking me up or asking me why I am wasting my time with any movie starring Cameron Diaz or do I know how many calories are in a slice of chocolate cake or did I just drink an entire bottle of wine by myself or why am I drunk dialing my mom or why do I say my name is Jennifer Aniston when I check into hotels (hoping for an upgrade.)

Hot right??!!!

Feb 272012
 

“Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me. As an offering, I present these milk and cookies. If you wish me to eat them instead, please give me no sign whatsoever … thy will be done. (munch munch munch)”

– Homer Simpson

ps.  There are now cookie crumbs all over my laptop keys from praying.  Anyone know a good way to get those out?