Jun 102014
 

This morning I again found myself in the same place I find myself every morning:  engaged in battle with my three-year-old daughter about what she is going to wear.  No matter how difficult it is for me, I try to let her pick out her own clothes. And believe me, it IS difficult for me.”Are you SURE you want to wear a pink velour skirt with a red velour dress and purple pants?Yeah,  that looks amaaaaazing.” Clearly, my three-year-old doesn’t grasp sarcasm yet, but with me as her mother I am sure that it won’t be long.

It is difficult to let her make her own mistakes…um… I mean, choices, but I want her to be able to express who she is – even if who she is is colorblind. I guess that is probably the one of the hardest things about raising children, right? Letting them make their own mistakes, and learn from them. Letting them be who they are, even if it’s not who you want them to be.

But, while I try to let her make her own decisions, at least regarding her clothes, I do draw the line at things that are inappropriate for one reason or another:  Snow boots when it is 100 degrees outside, her fancy party dress that will likely turn into a cleaning rag after one day at school. Todays’ battle du jour was about a maxi-dress that she loves (and yes, I know it’s ridiculous that my three-year-old has a maxi-dress), but I don’t think is appropriate for running around and playing at school. Here’s a sampling of this morning’s conversation regarding said dress:

Lyla: “I want to wear THIS dress”

Me: “No honey, you know that’s not a good dress for school. How about one of these twelve dresses instead?”

L: “Nope. This is the one.”

M: “But honey, that dress is long. I’m worried that you won’t be able to run around and play at school.”

L: “Why can’t I run around and play?”

M: “Because I am scared that you will trip over the dress and fall.”

L (smiling brighter than the sun): “Oh mama, that’s ok. If I fall, I will just pick myself back up!”

 

And that, my friends, is solid proof of my theory that our children have so much more to teach us than we will ever teach them.

And also why my daughter is wearing her maxi-dress at school today.

Sep 302012
 

My husband has pretty good fashion sense (he is Italian after all) but he is also a dad, and I am pretty sure that before they give you your Daddy license, they have to make sure that you own a pair of Crocs. How else could you explain the prevalence of this hideously ugly rubber footwear among men who are old enough to know better?  Anyway, so Daddy has a pair of Crocs that he wears around the house and to do yard work.  Today, we were outside in the garden, and then decided to take a short walk around the hood.  Halfway down the street my daughter stops in her tracks, points down at daddy’s shoes and says, “UH OH!”  My sentiments exactly, honey.

Just say no to Crocs. It’s for your own safety.

Aug 072012
 

Today is my birthday.  The reason that I am telling you this is not to make you feel guilty for not remembering (unless YOU are reading this.  You know who you are.) nor is it to fish for the requisite “Happy Birthday” comments that such a post could inspire.  No, my reason is just the opposite.  Full Disclosure:  I am going to get a little bit cheesy and perhaps a tad cliché for a moment… so if you don’t feel like dealing with that, then stop reading right now.  But it’s my birthday and I will let a slow tear run down my face for a moment if I want to.

Where was I?  Oh, yes.  Slow tear… Today is my birthday, and instead of asking for a lot of things (except from my husband of course) instead I am going to give thanks for this life that I lead every day that is truly a gift.  I have a wonderful husband who accepts my faults and sees more good in me than I do in myself; who is an even better father than he is a husband if that is possible; and who buys me great gifts for my birthday.  I have a fantastic family, who are all my biggest fans and I theirs.  I have amazing friends who inspire me every day to be a better friend and person.  I have a job that I enjoy and that gives me the freedom to spend a lot of time with my daughter.  And a daughter… oh, my daughter.  She is the greatest gift of all. And for all the complaining that I do about how tough motherhood is right here on this very blog (because God knows it’s tough sometimes,) there’s not enough time nor words nor people who would care to read all that I could say about how much my daughter has changed my life in the greatest ways possible.   Every day I look at her and wonder how I could have gotten so lucky as to have her in my life.  Thank you.

So, there you have it.  Maybe it is the prosecco talking, but it is my birthday and I already have everything I could possibly want…. unless you have a pair of Louboutin nude peep toes in size 9 1/2.  What can I say, I’m a sucker for those red soles.

May 052012
 

If you didn’t before, check out my first featured article in Natural Child Magazine, and get your sexy back… or at least brush your teeth once in a while!

“I’m sexy and I know it!”

Ok, so maybe this is the song currently stuck in my head (curse you LMFAO and your catchy lyrics,) NOT the phrase that I am most likely to think while looking into the mirror.  As a working mom of a ten-month-old baby, whose wardrobe usually consists of a variety of faded black yoga pants and whose highlights have grown so far out that they are now back in (ombre is so hot right now,) I desperately need to find my sexy.  The only problem:  I don’t know where I lost it.

I used to be hot once, if I do say so myself.  Back in those days, I used to spend hours primping with my girlfriends. Then we would strut around the bar, preening like peacocks, daring any man to talk to us. Now-a-days I usually slink around with zero make-up and my hair in a dirty bun, praying that no one notices me, or worse… recognizes me. While I am married with a baby, and definitely not trying to snag a man, I miss that confident, sexy creature I used to be – or at least think I was. My problem is not that no one finds me sexy… my problem is that I don’t find myself sexy.

So what is the answer?  How do you get your sexy back when you have no idea where to start looking? What I am not going to do is give you a list of “full-proof” tips guaranteed to make you feel sexier or make your sex life better.  Every person is different and everyone’s likes, tastes and limits are different too (and discovering what yours are is a joy that I would never take from you!)  But what I will do is give you one piece of advice… start making love to yourself.  No, I’m not talking about this in the literal way, although that might be a big step for many women,  what I am talking about is making time to do the things you love and that make you feel good about yourself.

Make regular appointments at the hairdresser, waxer or both. Hit the gym. Take the extra five minutes to put on some mascara and lip-gloss.  Take a bath, take a class (brains are sexy too!) or take 15 minutes to meditate.  Go buy some sexy new lingerie that fits the body you have right now, not the body you hope to have after six months of starving yourself. Whatever it is that makes you feel like the smart, sexy, beautiful woman that you are. I promise that she’s in there somewhere!

And most importantly, stop hiding out and slinking around. Hold your head up high and strut around the grocery store,  office and your bedroom.  You ARE sexy, and if you know it, chances are the world does too.

May 022012
 

As some of you know, I have been a part of a wonderful magazine, Natural Child World, for a while.  NCW is a parenting magazine unlike anything else that is currently out there.  It has a great eco message, a real voice that doesn’t take itself too seriously or talk to parents like they are the 5-year-olds,  fashion and design articles worthy of a coffee table, and some pretty great features… including one I am particularly fond of.  I am proud to announce that my blog, The Good, The Bad, and The Saggy is going to be a regular feature in Natural Child World Magazine! It will be, as my blog is, a realistic and somewhat comedic (hey, I try) look at motherhood.  Although there will most likely be a few less F bombs than some of my blog posts.  You can find the magazine at Whole Foods, Barnes & Noble and other stores, as well as online at:  http://naturalchildworld.com/

As always, thanks for your support.  Without further adieu (Now that my blog is in a magazine I am totally going to start using fancy words like adieu)  here is my first The Good, The Bad, and The Saggy feature in the May/June issue of Natural Child World magazine:

Getting Your Sexy Back

“I’m sexy and I know it!”

Ok, so maybe this is the song currently stuck in my head (curse you LMFAO and your catchy lyrics,) NOT the phrase that I am most likely to think while looking into the mirror.  As a working mom of a ten-month-old baby, whose wardrobe usually consists of a variety of faded black yoga pants and whose highlights have grown so far out that they are now back in (ombre is so hot right now,) I desperately need to find my sexy.  The only problem:  I don’t know where I lost it.

I used to be hot once, if I do say so myself.  Back in those days, I used to spend hours primping with my girlfriends. Then we would strut around the bar, preening like peacocks, daring any man to talk to us. Now-a-days I usually slink around with zero make-up and my hair in a dirty bun, praying that no one notices me, or worse… recognizes me. While I am married with a baby, and definitely not trying to snag a man, I miss that confident, sexy creature I used to be – or at least think I was. My problem is not that no one finds me sexy… my problem is that I don’t find myself sexy.

So what is the answer?  How do you get your sexy back when you have no idea where to start looking? What I am not going to do is give you a list of “full-proof” tips guaranteed to make you feel sexier or make your sex life better.  Every person is different and everyone’s likes, tastes and limits are different too (and discovering what yours are is a joy that I would never take from you!)  But what I will do is give you one piece of advice… start making love to yourself.  No, I’m not talking about this in the literal way, although that might be a big step for many women,  what I am talking about is making time to do the things you love and that make you feel good about yourself.

Make regular appointments at the hairdresser, waxer or both. Hit the gym. Take the extra five minutes to put on some mascara and lip-gloss.  Take a bath, take a class (brains are sexy too!) or take 15 minutes to meditate.  Go buy some sexy new lingerie that fits the body you have right now, not the body you hope to have after six months of starving yourself. Whatever it is that makes you feel like the smart, sexy, beautiful woman that you are. I promise that she’s in there somewhere!

And most importantly, stop hiding out and slinking around. Hold your head up high and strut around the grocery store,  office and your bedroom.  You ARE sexy, and if you know it, chances are the world does too.

 

Mar 292012
 

You know the saying, “You can’t turn a ho into a housewife”? Well, besides being totally derogatory, it’s also completely untrue.  I know many a former “ho”  (at least by some people’s standards) who have turned into great housewives and amazing mothers.  So that myth is debunked (you’re welcome) but what I discovered to be true while in Las Vegas a couple of weekends ago, is that you can’t turn a housewife into a ho.

The occasion was a bachelorette party.  I prepared for the trip by getting my hair cut and highlighted for the first time in 6 months, ordering a new dress (see  No Longer 21), getting a neon pink mani/pedi and a brazilian bikini wax – which had also been a while and is not something you want to wait too long on. Yeowch! (btw… NEVER again).  I took off to Las Vegas with a suitcase full of my “sluttiest” clothes and all the high-heels and make-up I never wear, a trashy magazine to read, and very high expectations of finding my former “young, fun, party-girl”self.

I did get to wear my make-up and high heels (The first night. The second night my poor feet were aching so bad that I opted for function over fashion and chose my sensible shoes.)  I did get to wear my “slutty” dresses, although my tightest dress was dubbed “classy and elegant” by my girlfriends.  I even got to read my trashy magazine on the plane (which anyone who is used to traveling with a baby knows is a huge luxury).  What I did not get to do was to recapture the “glory days” of my young, fun self.  I guess that once you are mom, you are always a mom… no matter how many shots you take or male strippers you grope.

Here are the top 6 reasons why I am too old and momish for Las Vegas:

6) I call it ” Las Vegas”.  Apparently like P.Diddy,  Las Vegas has now become just Vegas.

5) I alternated between dancing on the banquette, and watching my friends dance on the banquette while freaking out to anyone who would listen about how dangerous it is to dance on the banquette.

4) I spent most of the night talking about my baby, showing pictures of my baby, and singling out other people at the bars who had babies and were pathetic enough to talk about them with me all night.

3) I chased everyone around before bed (at 5 am, my baby’s current wake-up time), force-feeding them Advil to prevent hangovers.  (ps. it did NOT work)

2) I drunk dialed my husband at 4 am. (wisely he had turned his ringer off)

1) And the number one reason why I am too old for Las Vegas:  When I returned home on Sunday night –  exhausted, shaky, nauseous, and with a major headache – My daughter decided that it was the night to sprout a new tooth and was up almost every hour before waking up for good at 5 am.  The truth is that even if I was successful in recapturing the past, eventually I have to return to the present.  And the present with a hangover is no gift at all.

I don’t blame Las Vegas.  It doesn’t pretend to be anything other than it is. (Except for that time when it masqueraded as a place where you take your kids…. I’m looking at you Treasure Island.)  I blame myself for thinking that a tight dress and a few tequila shots would transport me back to a time before I had a husband and kids.  Before I had responsibilities bigger than making sure that my friends’ dresses weren’t tucked into their underwear.  While I do blame myself for my naivety, I am also pleasantly surprised to discover that while the past was amazing, like Las Vegas, it’s somewhere I  no longer want to be.

Mar 162012
 

The Adventure:  Bachelorette Party

The Destination:  Sin City

The Mission (Impossible):  Find an outfit that makes me look like I don’t have a baby at home… or at least an outfit that doesn’t embarrass my friends who don’t have babies at home.

I am sure that a lot of moms can attest to the fact that when it comes to shopping for yourself… well, it doesn’t really happen. There’s the teeny tiny aisles that make maneuvering a stroller a nightmare; the unflattering lights that somehow spotlight every lump, bump and stretch mark (we can’t possibly look that bad right!?); and the annoying salesgirls who are way too skinny and way too encouraging when you try on that too-tight, lime green dress that makes you look like a melting popsicle. Not to mention the fact that keeping a child in the dressing room is akin to keeping Lindsay Lohan out of jail… not going to happen.  Also, for this particular occasion,  I don’t want to spend a fortune on “Vegas clothes” that I will most likely only dig out for the next bachelorette party… or possibly the next baby shower if it’s a “Pimp and Ho” theme.

My go to for these situations used to be the ever-popular Forever 21.  But despite the grandiose promises that its clever name implies… I am apparently not forever 21.  The fact that I couldn’t get a size “large” dress over my calf reinforced the fact that I am too old for this store, although I should have been tipped off by the heart-print polyester hoodies in the front window.

My solution:  Online shopping.  In this case: ASOS

If you have never heard of ASOS, you are missing out.  It is an online store, quite popular in the UK, with THOUSANDS of different looks.  They do have some expensive clothing, but there are a lot of options, especially from their own ASOS line, that rival “No Longer 21″‘s prices (well close to it, but we are older now so we can aim a little higher.)  You order the clothes, they ship them to you, you try them on in the comfort of your own mirror that has been strategically tilted to make you look tall and skinny (What?  You haven’t done this? Do it now.)  Then if you don’t like them or they don’t fit you, you can send them back for free.  Soooo easy!  Plus, they have a GREAT maternity line.  I actually started shopping here when I was pregnant and still under the illusion that I could somehow look stylish with a watermelon under my tunic (aka prior to last two months.)

Check them out! www.asos.com

And no, they are not paying me to say this. (Although, I would be more than happy to take bribes in the form of store credit.)  I just know how tough it is to find cute, quality clothes at a reasonable price online.  And I’ve been surprised to discover that not too many people know about this great option.  ENJOY!