Aug 012012

Every time I am at the airport I am amazed that thieves don’t come to baggage claim and steal suitcases.  There is no security… anyone can just walk in there and just grab a suitcase.  Mr. Thief could just stroll in off the street, grab the  medium-sized black suitcase that everyone and their sister’s cousin has, hightail it out of there and pray that no one notices until all the suitcases are gone.  Mrs. Missing Suitcase will then blame the airline, who will not be able to find the suitcase and then, eventually after a lot of hassle and nagging, will issue a refund for the missing suitcase.  By the time all this is said and done, Mr. Thief will be back at his studio apartment trying on all Mrs. Missing Suitcases bras and wondering what he is going to do with size XXL vacation wear.  Hey, so maybe this suitcase grab was a bust, but Mr. Thief can return to baggage claim and try, try again.  Winners never quit, Mr. Thief.

You’d be in luck if you happened to grab my suitcase.  I don’t know about you guys, but I always take my best clothes on vacation with me.  And if you are reading this and happen to be a thief, my suitcase is NOT the large red one with a red ribbon tied to the handle so I can recognize it.  Seriously… it’s not that one.

  9 Responses to “Random Thought: On Why I Would Be a Great Thief”


    This happened to me and they left their half empty shoe-box size suitcase in return! With the help of the airline I tracked the b*&%%r down! I gave him the benefit of the doubt in my post ‘A case of mistaken identity’


    You make a good point… I am thinking next girls night out we will meet at the airport? I will add the following memo: be on the lookout for a red suitcase with a red ribbon tied to it, that is the goldmine! Lol! Seriously though, red is such a good color for a suitcase. I am one of those people with a black suitcase, you know like practically the rest of the world. It makes it so tough to decipher my bag from others, it’s a wonder I have never taken someone else’s.


    Why is it exactly that the thief is a man and the victim is a woman? Perhaps we should first consider the subconcious relationship you have with men being attackers and women being helpless fearful victims? Please….sit down…No wait, lay down…preferably on a couch…are there tissues nearby? Go ahead…I’ll wait…Okay, now…When you think of this Mr. Thief who does he remind you of? When you were little? Those were scary feelings weren’t they? Feel your feelings and know that you are more than them. Go into your feelings and allow yourself to experience those sensations. Do you feel that pain? Where do you feel it? Go right to that pain…through the heart of that pain will be a blanket of love for which you will see the world through new lenses. See it now? Isn’t that wonderful?

    Well I think that was a great session and what an eye-opening experience for you as well! I hate to even bring this up especially since you’re talking about losing valuables in this post. However, I’m going to have to ask for payment at this point. I know, it must be hard to come to terms with this. You thought this was just an innocent comment on your blog and then this guy wound up giving you all this advice that he was forced to charge for. See? Instead of going to airports which really takes a lot of gas and time and valuable resources, not to mention the possibility of breaking your back picking up one of those red…I mean black suitcases. Instead exthortion is a much more calm and non-violent approach to obtaining money illegally. That’s completely not what I’m doing here but I could see where someone were soliciting unwanted advice only to realize they’re being charged and then believe that the same person (who happens to be a man) is taking advantage of someone (who happens to be a woman) and we wind up in this same paradoxical explanation of how you can’t trust anyone…especially those with red suitcases and red ribbons.


    prior to the whole no liquids on the plane thing, husband and I ‘carried on’ several bottles of wine from a trip we went on. When I went through security, (and trust me, I am the biggest rule follower ever….) I thought…what is stopping me from opening this up and lighting a match? (or whatever you do to make one of those molatov cocktail thingys…but somehow I doubt the real people who want to light planes on fire call their weapons of choice ‘thingys’.)
    And then I thought… If I can think of this, what the hell are the people who do this shit everyday thinking of next? And then I thought… why would I want to waste the wine?

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